Tarot spread 3/22/13

I’ve been at a major crossroads lately.  Our finances are just completely out of control (NOT in a good way), and so I asked for a general reading as far as what was coming up this year, and with our finances specifically.

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First Impressions: there are a LOT of Earth/Disc cards in this spread.  So a lot of financial things happening.  Fair enough, as that’s what I really asked about.  Also, I DON’T like seeing The Tower anywhere in my spread, and it’s in the ‘near future’ spot.  This doesn’t bode well.  I feel like everything is about to cave in on me, and maybe it is.  😦

OK, not going to freak out yet.  Here’s the breakdown…  5 earth cards, 2 swords, 1 wand, and 2 Major Arcana.  3 of the Earth cards are reversed.  Uh oh. 

Still not freaking out.  Here are the details…

1. Basis of the Matter or that which brought me to now: 4 Discs (reversed) — My focus has been on work, success, and financial security: making a ‘safe’ space or environment, making every effort count and not wasting anything.  My heart hasn’t been in my work, but I’ve known that I had to forge ahead in spit of it or I wouldn’t accomplish what I wanted to get done.  I’ve been proceeding in the wrong direction.

2. Where I am now: 7 Discs — Focus is on a situation or a pause in progress which causes great dissatisfaction, anxiety, or depression, and on a reevaluation of goals, aspirations, or life itself.  I want to be more productive, make more money, or move onto something else entirely.  My financial situation is precarious.  Help is on its way.

3. Hopes or fears: 7 Swords (reversed) — Focus is on attempts, efforts, uncertain or unstable conditions, introspection, analysis, perfection, priorities, self-protection, family members, partners and health.  I want someone to correct a problem area or to get away from work responsibilities, but fear that work will keep pulling me back.  Best course of action is to take things slowly and keep things in perspective- maintain mental and emotional balance.

4. Present and passing: 9 Swords (reversed) — Focus is on deprivation, discord, and suffering through an ideal or cause; progress being blocked, stymied, or aborted just at the moment of conception; and worry or anxiety about my future or about someone else.  Also, financial situation is improving because of money from a new project, business deal, or settlement, and through another source as well.  Best course of action is to wait for things to resolve themselves.

5. Forces for and against me: 10 Wands — Focus is on major changes or moves from one thing or place to another, planning, executing, plodding through, and meeting practical difficulties in order to bring a new way into being; also, new projects and taking steps towards progress.  I’m changing my routine/wrapping up the work I’m currently doing in order to do something else along a different line.  Best course of action is to wait until the proper action becomes evident.  Until then, persevere or finish what I started. 

6. The near future: The Web —  Focus is on wanting to reach my goals, settlements, legal matters or income, health, investments of time, cause and effect, and trying to understand the workings of destiny in my life or affairs.  Will be feeling some financial difficulties, wonder where my next dollar is coming from, and new expenses will arise, but finances are about to improve.  Best course of action is to wait for time to take its course.

7. How the near future will evolve: The Tower —  Focus is on unexpected events or devastating conditions, financial problems, business problems, conflicts, separations or divorce, drastic measures, bizarre encounters, and loss of faith in myself or my world.  I’ll be very upset or concerned about financial conditions, bills, or medical expenses.  A sudden loss of income, a cancellation of funding, or a company going bankrupt or out of business could also be indicated.  Best course of action is to remain calm in the face of unexpected changes or ‘assaults’ and listen to the inner voice that assures me that everything IS going to be OK.

8. New turn of events or the effects others will have on me: 2 Discs (reversed) — Focus is on emotional tribulation due to difficult schedules; endeavors that seem to be in vain; ineffective verbal or written efforts; and business losses and discouragements.  I will be discouraged about an idea or project, but it will get straightened out or dealt with through a new approach.  I will make some money, but will have to make some concessions.  Best course of action is to narrow my choices down to one, and maintain a sanguine attitude and balanced disposition.

9. Me in the environment of the future: 8 Discs (reversed) — Focus is on assistance or backing on an idea or project, and on risks, finances and assets, enlargement, accomplishment, employment or commission, kinship, friendship, romance, and betterment.  I’ve been depressed about or bored with my work, and it will soon lift and I will have a change in attitude brought about by a compensation for a previous effort, enw orders, or new projects to embark upon.  Material gain and increase, but in small sums.  Best course of action is don’t try to force issues, but wait for things to change.  This is not a time to assert myself.  If I sit tight, I will gain considerable help or means.

10. Outcome or summation: Ace Discs — Focus is on continuation and/or things that come together later on; new things replacing old; investments of time or money; potential partners or partnerships; and pleasure, satisfaction, and prosperity.  Activity may have been slow in the past, but my business interests will soon begin to thrive.  I will soon be receiving money from something that was held up or that I should have gotten in the past.  Best course of action is to keep an optimistic attitude and let time be the deciding factor.  Also, take time out to play and don’t be afraid to spend money on pleasurable pursuits or enjoyable commodities.  My world will be transformed and I will prosper. 

Clarifier:  WILL I LOSE MY HOUSE?  King of Cups — Focus is on activities centering around the home or a business that I can do out of my home.  Daydreaming about love and romance.  Something new is about to be established that is going to change my outlook..  something good.  This could be news from or the arrival of a lover.  I will want to make it on my own, be financially independent, own my own business, or work out of my home, and a new direction or course of action is going to be proposed that will encourage that wish.  I will find a new direction, line of work, or occupational outlet, something that will augment my talents or advance my position.  What I want or need will come to me, and I will be provided for.  Business will take an upward swing, new projects will be in the making.

 

Sooooo..  This is all good, right?  RIGHT?  Again, that Tower card is stressing me out. 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LYJhNYgb4kU  (Interesting guy..  Geeky and erudite, and a pipe smoker to boot.  🙂

Unguarded.

That’s how you make me feel.

Recently, I’ve been spending time with my family.  They most certainly make me feel guarded.  I have to watch everything I say, I have to omit, I have to protect myself and you from their judgment and their spite.  I get tense, I stop smiling so much, I throw up walls around myself.

There are even friends that I can’t be myself around.  I know that they’ll only understand me so much, and so there are walls there too.  In fact, the world is filled with people that make me feel guarded.

That’s why you’re my mate.  You’re the one that I can say anything to, that I can be myself around.

We went to the sauna last week with my mother and sister.  My mother complained from the time we left her house to the time we got home.  Her back hurt, she was going to faint, my grandparents are driving her crazy, even that her soup was too hot.  My sister, who used to be my ally in the chaos of our family has become oblivious to all of it.  She just apes my mother, complaining as well and nodding and absorbing all of her negativity.  She doesn’t realize that she’s wallowing in it too.

You and I have all the reason in the world to be negative. And we’ve both gone through our own depressions, but at least we try to live. We try to enjoy the positive.  We have fun despite all of the BS.

That’s why you’re my mate.  Because you make me laugh during the shittiest times of my life.  Because you make me feel unguarded.

I love you, Bear.

Dorks